Really? 5.5 months since my last post?
I adore Lucy. Adore. Guess many moms would say the same. But my adoration is so precious, late coming in her life, and in mine (relatively speaking). I adore how she wakes up and smiles so broadly at mom or dad, who ever is first into the nursery to greet her and sing the good morning song. I love how she clings to me, while waving good morning at her friends in daycare. I love how she hurls her toys and abandons her buddies when I return to pick her up. I love how she whines during the drive home, feeling so secure with me she doesn't have to be charming and winsome after our day apart, but can be her toddler self, secure in mom's love to be bratty for the 30 minutes it takes to get home. I love how she shouts "Hi, Jane!" to our dog when we get home, how she watches the dogs in the yard and lets me know when they want to come in, how she hugs me and wants in-my-lap story time when we get home, and dinner soon after. I love her gleeful laughs if we get time in the wading pool, or at least make tsunami splashes in the bathtub in the late afternoon. I love how she holds me back, drinks her nighttime bottle staring into my eyes, and climbs on my shoulder for goodnight rocking before bed.
I love her, I do. I love her more, more, more than I thought my heart capable of loving. I cry at hallmark ads. I refuse to watch the movie "rabbit hole" w/ Nicole Kidman about losing a toddler, I can't stomach sad movies at all anymore. I feel more productive during my hours at work, knowing my hours with Lucy will be totally, completely, LUCY!
I love my husband more, watching care for and love our daughter.
I love God more, praying for Lucy at night.
I love myself more, observing me becoming the more expanded Michelle, with a heart brimming over for her, that I always hoped to be.
So, in all, Lucy has brought greater love to my life. A life I thought was fairly great before she arrived in the picture. A life I now know, was incomplete without her.
Thank god for my little girl...
M
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